L I S T E N I N G 

                     A N D 

          C O N N E C T I N G 

                W I T H     E L D E R S     

Throughout my life I've been surrounded by elders.  I have come to deeply respect and honor their wisdom.  When I see a situation where they are being disrespected and/or taken advantage of, it deeply saddens me.                      

Following is a "Bill of Rights" for our elders.  As we see them capable, and then communicate and connect with them authentically, we are honoring, respecting them. 

A "Bill of Rights" for elders.

1.  Each elder deserve to have a safe place to share openly and honesty their ideas, their dreams and their preferences.

2.  Each elder deserve to be listened to about their ideas and opinions on little matters as well as the "BIG" matters that affect their life.

3.  Each elder deserves to have a connection with a loved one or professional who can be their "voice" in life. 

4.  Each elder deserves to be supported and nurtured in having their voice heard in all matters that pertain to their life.

5.  Each elder deserves to have explained to them opportunities and choices that will affect their life.

6.  Each elder deserves to have a support system of people with whom to discuss their life choices.

7.  Each elder deserves to have people around them who can listen to them openly without having their own 'agenda' at the forefront of the situation.

8.  Each elder deserves the right to ponder and process new ideas and have time to make a decision. 

9.  Each elder deserves to take time to make 'big' decisions and to re-discuss 'big' issues to completely understand the situation completely. 

10.  Each elder deserves to be surrounded with those with whom he/she can share their wisdom from the ages. 

Connecting and Communicating with individuals with Alzheimer's

Establishing connection and communication with many individuals with characteristics of dementia and/ or Alzheimer's is still possible.  Many times when frustration takes place and you feel like giving up, stepping back from the situation and attempting to see with "new eyes" can make a difference. 

Following are a set of principles I've seen work very successfully with many individuals with Alzheimer's, from the beginning stages to the advanced stages.   However, each individual is unique and the way of applying the principles may vary.

Principles for connecting and communicating

     with  Alzheimer's characteristics or dementia

1.  Observe his or her pace of life and support that as much as possible.

2.  Listen to their stories, ideas adn questions, as if it was the FIRST time you've heard them.  Ask a question from time to time.

3.  Keep their schedule (meals, bathing and outings) on a predictable schedule whenever possible. 

4.  When you are planning a new activity, prepare them for it with severak conversations.   (At some point they may surprise you and remember part of what you've said.)

5.  Always tell them the TRUTH.  If you tell them something that is not true, it creates mistrust in you as well as in themselves.

6.  If they question what you are saying, whenever possible take and show them what you are discussing.  Seeing is like 1000 words!

7.  If you want to re-visit a project you've been working on, give them an over-view and tell them what you've done previously.

8.  Have FUN!  LAUGH!  Enjoy the moment.  These individuals have much to teach others about the JOY of living in the moment.

9.  Always treat them with respect and honor, keeping their dignity in place. 

Joanne Koenig Coste in her book, Learning to Speak Alzheimer's, discusses the Five Tenets of Habilitation (making them capable).  I feel these bring great hope and possibilities to care partners as well as to those with Alzheimer's.  They are are follows:

*  make the physical environment work

*  know that communication remains possible

*  focus on remaining skills

*  live in the patient's world

*  enrich the patient's life

Listening To Elders -

with Alzheimer's or Mental Dementia

Santa Rosa Recreation and Parks will offer this class on connecting and communicating with loved ones or clients with Alzheimer's or Mental Dementia.  True listening, allows a person to be heard and respected. Even though times can be very challenging, staying present can be a practice which eases challenging situations.

WHEN:   Tuesday eveing July 17    

TIME:   7 - 9 PM

WHERE:  Steele Lane / Santa Rosa

FEE:      $ 35.00 (SR residents $ 25) 

To register call:  (707) 543-3737 or go to: www.santarosarec.com

Class number:  45495

Sharon Ann Wikoff was introduced to the world of dementia and Alzheimer's voer 40 years ago and has worked with loved ones and clients utilizing her unique ways of connecting and communicating.  She is also an EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Practitioner. 

  For further information, contact Sharon at (707) 543-6355.